The Kindness of People You've Never Met in Real Life

I wouldn't exactly call Kat a stranger. We've done a fiber swap, emailed back and forth, enhanced each other's stash from time to time, and plan to eventually get together and spin while the hubbies talk shop (teaching). But we've never actually met in real life. So imagine my surprise when I got an email from her the other day in response to my last post telling me to watch out for a package. I thought maybe she was sending me a fiber pick-me-up (I was hoping not, only because I know how tiny her stash is and mine is, well, embarrassing! Keep your fiber for yourself Kat! Build that tiny stash up!) She told me it was coming UPS, though, which perplexed me a bit.

I heard a truck this morning, but didn't see anything out on my porch after the driver left. Hmm...turns out he'd tucked the box behind a planter, so I didn't see it. What did I find? CHOCOLATE! And not just ANY chocolate, but GOURMET CHOCOLATE! I couldn't believe it! Talk about a pick-me-up! Kat, thanks SO much (oh, and Brian, too!!!)! I just may name my next child after you!



(mmm, truffles. Yes, one is missing already!)

Thanks, too, to the other bloggers who've left kind words. I'm feeling a bit better. The housing situation has actually gotten worse (our dog has been having bad seperation anxiety and turns out has been barking and howling the entire time we're out somewhere, and our psychobitch neighbor has complained to us. We were playing music for him - as per her suggestion - and thought it was helping, but turns out it's not. So she told us about it the other day, and then called the cops on us on Sunday afternoon!) So now we have the impetus to get out of here - even though it means me getting a full-time job and leaving my daughter at home, we'll at least finally have a detached house! So I'm all anxious about it, but at least I know at the end of it all, we'll be away from that woman. Amazing how much bad neighbors can ruin a home.

Meh.

Warning: Pity party ahead. If you're not interested, I'm sure there's someone else out there with a more interesting blog! ;)

I'm in a funk. Funkfunkfunk. And not the good, P-Funk kinda way, either. Nope. The I-wanna-crawl-into-bed-and-pull-the-covers-over-my-head-and-maybe-have-a-good-life-sucks-kinda-cry kind of funk. Ick.

I haven't knit or spin or carded anything in the past 3 days. Other than getting the socks to the point where I need to increase for the heel flap, I haven't touched yarn or fiber at all. Ok, not entirely true, I carded a batt up last night before bed (everything's still in our bedroom instead of the fiber room, as I tear it apart trying to find the yarn that's gone missing - might as well tear it up while it's half empty). I've spent the past two days reading through January One's archives - does that make me a loser? It's not like I'm procrastinating, really - I'm a stay-at-home mom, so other than cleaning (the house needs it in a clear-out-the-chaos-and-clutter kind of way that happens after guests leave) and spinning/carding, there's nothing I NEED to do. For whatever reason, I can't even find the motivation to get up and find a new project to knit. Or to work through the increasing in ribbing I need to do to get these socks moving - I LOVE them, they're a lot like a pair of Ragg wool socks I had when I was in high school that I literally wore out. They're a fast knit, too, but it's like the increasing and decreasing in ribbing is just too much effort.

Maybe I'm PMSing. I have no idea - my period's been all over the place since having Ella and I'm not on the pill. Maybe I'm preggers. That's a possibility. I'm also fighting the fourth (or is it fifth?) illness of this winter, and I've gained about 4 pounds over the past two weeks (oh, yeah, that's totally going well - I want to lose at least 15 by June and our Disney trip - now I guess I have to make that 19). Or maybe it's the absolute SHIT weather we've had around here for the past, oh, forever. Don't remind me that my parents just went back to sunny Florida - I may kill myself.

I'm just really feeling dissatisfied with my life. Shouldn't be, I know that, but I've always been that way. I get stuck in a rut, feel like nothing's going right or ever will, that's the status quo for awhile, and then I get better. I have bad days, days where I cry at the drop of a hat, all day. I'm probably depressed - I've been in therapy and on medication in the past for it - but when our insurance changed and my therapist wasn't covered anymore, I just stopped going. I was weaning myself off the Paxil anyway, because we wanted to start trying to get pregnant, and I didn't want that poison in my body, but the therapy was still helping. Probably need it again, but we're kinda too broke for it.

I hate where we live, our house, our neighborhood, the entire area. It's like a post-industrial wasteland, crime's getting worse, our school district is the second worst in the entire state - I wouldn't send my dog there, but have to figure out what we're doing with Ella soon. I want to move away (I know part of this is missing my parents - usually by the end of a weekend, I want to strangle my mother, but this time we went a full week and got along great! Made me realize how much I miss them!) but we can't afford it at all unless I get a job (and I SO don't want a job!) and where I want to move, my hubby would never want to go. I'm lucky that at least he's cool with moving into Delaware since he spends so much time at the school he teaches at with the 5 jobs he needs to work there to make decent money. My hubby's great, but obstinate at times, and just doesn't want to move away from his parents, or the area. I'm willing to move just about ANYWHERE but here...hell, I moved here away from my parents to be with him when I graduated college, but he lived with his parents until we got married, and we still live about 2 minutes away from them. Ugh.

How selfish and stupid do I sound? I know I sound horrible - I'm healthy, my daughter is smart and happy and healthy and beautiful, my hubby works his ass off for us, we have a roof over our heads, a new stove (thanks Dad!), a trip to Disney that's coming up (I'm trying not to think about the fact that it's 2 weeks with my in-laws and that we'll be broke for it because my hubby won't have his night job for extra income since it ends in May) and then we'll be trying for another baby when we get back. Trying not to think, too, about the fact that we are in a SMAAAAALLLLL house and I have no idea how we'll fit another kid and all the stuff that goes with another kid here.

Sheesh. I'm pathetic. It's funny, I've gone back and forth about sharing too much in such a public forum. I give tiny glimpses, but mostly I just show fibery stuff and that's that. I'm a private person, always have been. But I've noticed the blogs I like best all share something of themselves. So nothing like going overboard with the navel gazing all at once, huh?

As a cookie for making it this far, and because this is supposed to be a fiber blog, here's a pic of Ella in a recent finished project.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HURRICANE!

Ella at one day old.


Ella in her going home outfit. See how HUGE it is on her? It was the 0-3 month size, but she was a little peanut!


My little girl is growing up - someone stop her!

(copyright Target blahblahblah)

Happy THIRD Birthday Ella! We love you!

(ok, so I'm one day late!)

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Is there anybody out there...

Who can tell me how to increase and decrease in ribbing? I'm knitting knee socks based on The Keyboard Biologist's formula. They're toe up (short row toe) on DPNs, in worsted weight handspun (not mine) in a K3 P1 rib, and I am already to the heel. I have to increase to do the gusset heel (shuddup, that's the one I want to do!) and then decrease and increase up my leg. I have no idea how to increase and decrease in the K3 P1 rib and keep the pattern. HELP!

Knitknitknit. Rinse. Repeat.

Oy, it's been awhile, huh? I've been busy busy preparing for my parents' impending arrival - they're coming up from Florida for a week on Wednesday for Hurricane's THIRD birthday (bestill my momma heart, I can't believe my baby's going to be THREE!)

So, before I get to the knitting (and, OH, has there been knitting!) I have to share pics of one of the many things I decided to tackle before my parents come!

BEFORE:


AFTER:


Of course, we'd planned to have the dining room done on Saturday and the living room done on Sunday, but the best laid plans and all that jazz...we hit a snag first on the very first row. The directions (oh, it's IKEA Hemse flooring) assume 2 things - that your baseboard comes all the way down to the floor (ours has a gap because there was thick carpeting) and that your walls are straight. Ha. It's a 55-year-old rowhome, so besides being old, it was probably built on the cheap. Halfway down the second board, we hit a point on the wall that bumped out, so every time we tried to connect another board in the second row, everything would pivot. Of course, laminate flooring is supposed to "float" and not be nailed down, but ours is! We had to nail down the first row once we adjusted for the bump-out, just to be able to attach every subsequent row. We spent a couple of hours waiting for Hurricane to get up from her nap so my FIL could come over to help (our dog goes absolutely apeshit whenever my in-laws come over, so we didn't want to have him wake Hurricane up). The a few more hours of figuring out what to do, how to compensate for the pivot, and instead of having the dining room done in one day, we ended Saturday with 4 rows. Out of, like, 10. Sheesh. But Sunday we made more progress and got through the dining room and 5 rows into the living room (we have an archway from one room to the other, and I wanted to flow from one room to the other without a break, so we went through the archway and down to the end of the living room.) We're going to try to get some more done tomorrow night when the hubster comes home from work, and we should get most of it done, but luckily it's only my parents coming, and not the whole family (we're having the party at the in-laws, they have twice the space we do).

Oh, wait, I'm not the Yarn Harlot! She's got a much bigger job than we do, and at least I have the hubster to help! And so, on to some knitting content. I don't have pics for everything, so I'll throw a couple up now and use the rest for blog fodder for another day!

Here's something I'm LOVING. I mean, wearing every damned day!



Fireside Footies from Pippikneesocks. Ohmigod! I love them!!! I knit them with Noro Kureyon #170, and I love this colorway like I love my daughter (I love it so much I forgive them for the knot leading to the harsh break between the orange and dark olive that should have blended instead)! I think I'll have to knit some more out of this yarn, or maybe some handspun, but either way, I know I'll have to knit another pair, because I'm literally wearing these all day every day!

Ok, I thought I'd get further, but I'm tired and sore, so I'm off to tubbie and bed.